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Beautiful Mistakes

by Scapeghost

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1.
Whisper Through the Trees 04:30
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I’m running through the forest in a night of malaria I seek your footprints in the leaves I smell you in perfume of conifer Assiduous pine needle thieves Sky of star fire, like bright mosquito bites Shed little light on what I want to see Carved into wood, a heart and arrow shoot A heart I never meant to bleed Maple and larch, cry of redwood bark I only wish one time you’d hear my pleas The bony pointing fingers of great elder pines Elm and oak, like rooted hatchets cleave A path near your voice Faith without a choice I hear you whisper through the trees Flora-laden siren Deep well to temper fire I hear you whisper through the trees You never found your way back in The day you found your way back out again You never found your buried love within You never found the place your hopes were pinned You never found the grace to wipe the sin Your knees scuffed dirty and torn through the skin Hair of golden fall, tears running at the roots I see you running through the fields Dress of winter white, blinding summer I see you running out of the fields Sink to my knees, drowsy with relief Your voice shrouds me like swirling leave Lying down upon a bed of orphaned leaves I hear you whisper me to sleep Limbs and stars weave in a canopy Above the bed where absolution keeps Watch on what’s been like a paladin Can you hear me whisper through the trees?
2.
The Night City 03:57
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I’m gonna come to the Night City looking for you I’m gonna come to the Night City looking for you I’m gonna come to the Night City looking for you I’m gonna come to the Night City looking for you I’m gonna come I’m gonna come I’m gonna come I’m gonna come Come to the Night City, lights are all red You need a scorecard to tell who’s alive and who’s dead All those drug using zombies got you in their sights I want revenge I’m gonna turn out their lights I’m gonna spill some blood I want what they’ve got And that thing’s called love They’re gonna give me some And I don’t care if they want to In the Night City, you have to make a choice You can’t sort it out here, what’s quiet and what noise They’ll cut your balls off and leave your face in blood Or in a puddle of mud I’ll turn them inside out I’ll take ten tongues that would shout And make a silken purse to carry your broken heart And all the money for a one-way ticket to the land Of trees and thickets Where the Night City cannot find you Cannot find you Cannot find you Cannot find you I’m gonna leave the Night City with empty hands What a way to find out our love was just a sham I’m gonna leave the Night City with an empty heart and no place to start I’ve given up, then I see you at the station And you come And you come And you come (to the Night City) You’ve renounced their ways, you’ve given up your ghosts You say you’ve changed your ways, and I see your eyes are moist Why do you look away and say, “I’m sorry” Then you pull out the knife Then you pull out the knife Then you pull out the knife Then you pull out the knife Then you pull out the knife
3.
The Slow 65 03:47
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You were a wrong lane child Someone should teach you how to drive You’re all about the slow slow slow Girl, you are eating up my life You and your hourglass Figure oughtta give me a little time You and your broken windows Literate to read the signs It’s not your highway It’s my right of way Be good enough to let me pass Should have known better than to follow a stray That’s where you led me To a highway of nothing but broken lights No yellow bricks or bread crumb trails You’re like an airport of canceled flights The sky is your way But you won’t teach me how to fly You taunt me with the MPH You drive a slow, slow 65 On an empty highway You keep changing into the passing lane On the slow, slow 65 Just about run out of gas No petrol stations on your route Highway as good as desert The canyons all echo with dying shouts Your taillights are just a memory It’s been hours since you’ve taken flight The sky is all falling stars Without any wishes to make it right It’s not your highway You robbed me of my destination Tongue tied, biting lip I’m reaching out beyond my station Just find me a car to fly And I’ll follow you into the sky On the final slow 65 I don’t care that you’re eating me up my life That you’re eating up my life Girl, you are eating up my life You are eating up my life
4.
Untitled Ocean Song 03:18
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Just admit it, that’s our way All that planning, winds keep fanning But still you lose the flame Had a handle, not a candle Now the light is running out What you’re chasing When you have to face doubt I know you don’t wanna go, but some journeys have to be taken If you could choose the time and place, would assurance kill all the aching? All packed belongings, like a wronging Like a bed you left unmade When you want sleep, but you wish you could stay Captain, I will take you to the other side of the ocean Something less than selflessness, and nothing more than devotion I bring you to that distant show, dreaming that there are better places When I let go of these weathered ores, will you recognize what this face is What this face is
5.
The Deep End 06:03
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Falling off the mountain as if descending for the first time Weighted down by tablets, laws, rewriting all the signs Growing to a fever, I don’t need water, I just need wings Only by flying can the mountain be reclimbed Living in the shallows, wading in a few steps I never knew my mind could fathom the lowest depths Now I see it all laid out before, one course is clear The whispers forming one voice, the voice I need to hear I’m drowning all distractions in the echoes of the deep well Pulling up the one voice and the truth it tells Refill and refill the bucket, I need to drink When you have the word, you have the one thought you need to think Inhaling deep the thinnest air in a sky so fully cloudless I never knew this high above I’d be at rest With lungs so full, I never need to let this air from my breath What seems to feel like dying is really no kind of death Then what is it? The deep end, the deep end What is it? Meaningless to name it What is it? Call it void, call it heaven What is it? Meaningless to name it And now I’m floating where water bleeds into sky (Father, you promised I’d sit up on high) No sense of gravity, should I try to (Father, why aren’t these wings truly mine) I try to speak the word, but my lungs are too full to say it (Tell me your silence is only a lie) Shrouded in blackness, I see a light Shrouded in blackness, I watch it go out Mother I need you to stay Father’s so far away I sent him my love And I gave you my hate But I need you to stay I know I spoke the wrong word I can’t say I misheard And he’s a satellite That won’t transmit a word I need you to stay To keep my in this warmth I need you to stay You never cut the cord I need you to stay You were always the source I need you to stay I need you to stay I need you to stay I need you to stay
6.
WWJD? 01:17
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He would comfort and protect the poor and the wretched He would clothe the naked and take in the lepers He would welcome his enemies as friends at his table He would heal and embrace those who were not like him He would speak in plain words without obfuscation He would cast you out as thieves in the temple You believe, word and deed, he’s a thing at all like you? (He would be, word and deed, not a thing at all like you) You believe, word and deed, he’s a thing at all like you?
7.
Perfect Mistakes 04:25
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Every time we never met Another time I thought I glimpsed you A history filled with regret Rewritten as a life of fortune Moments I saw as missteps Were footprints on the path to find you Some semblance of how we forget The book no revised to star you Characters stripped from the story In the rear view as if to seem too boring You take the brush and slap across the page Vivid new colors Every town I ever left Behind a tenement of unwritten stories Memory, that poor architect Mixes up the stones from different quarries The marble of old loves forgotten The limestone of youth besotted To the unforgiving granite of my heart, you’ve taken your Chisel and carved out word I never thought I’d say (Now I give them to you) The corner of its foundation now bears (And I whisper the great saying From every house I ever wrecked I took away the pieces of all I lacked Reconstituted almost whole A body that could absorb the impact Until the day I collided with you And saw the very last crack filled up Every corner became a room I saw a home wherever you turned up
8.
Why Only Six? 08:10
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9.
Precious Hostages 04:33
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All those precious hostages I gave you Can’t be freed by talk or guns or saviors They walk out in the sun just ahead of your shadow Mere feet from the precipice below You have them and you let them go You have them and you let them go You have them and you let them go To never walk free All grand steps you allow to be taken From the womb to the grave until you have forsaken The continuum on which we base our lives You pluck the beloved from right out in front of my eyes You have her and you let her go You have her and you let her go You have her and you let her go To never walk free Now you have her To never walk free And you have her To never walk free In her frailty In their frailty You have them and you let them go You have them and you let them go You have them and you let them go You have them and you let them go You have me, now let them go You have me, now let them go You have me, now let her go You have me, now let her go You have me You have me You have me Now let her walk free In her frailty In our frailty In my frailty

about

I think of this record as proto-Scapeghost. It was written and recorded over the course of several years, as I explored a whole new world of sound, mainly on guitar. These experiments were borne partly out of necessity; my friends and I had to abruptly move out of the converted garage they’d been using for over 15 years as a rehearsal and recording space, and which had been my musical home for the previous nine.

Without a band or a space to play or record in, I retreated to a 10x12 spare bedroom in the North Cambridge apartment my girlfriend (soon to be fiancée and eventually wife) and I had just moved into. I tapped into a new product that came with my recording software, Amplitube LE. It had basic Fender and Marshall amp simulations that I started to play around with. Intrigued, and with no idea of when I’d be able to crank up a real amp, I decided to upgrade to the full version, Amplitube 2. I suddenly had a guitar shop’s worth of amps and effects at my disposal. I was a kid in a sonic candy store. I gorged on new sounds and spent hours mixing, matching, and recombining them.

What you hear are the best songs to come out of those experiments—crunchy notes funneled through washes of reverb (“Whisper Through the Trees”), layers of distorted guitar—including one that sounds like a foghorn—yielding to a full-on horn section (“Why Only Six?”), an acoustic guitar enveloped by an almost liquid synth-reverb (“Precious Hostages”).

Lyrically, it’s a haunted record—it starts with an actual ghost story and doesn’t quite reach the land of the living until “Perfect Mistakes.” On the way, you travel through a noir nightmare city fueled by a Joy Division soundtrack; race with no clear destination on an endless, almost deserted highway; ride with the boatman across the river Styx; and encounter a man with a (possibly literal) martyrdom complex. At the end, you try to make a deal with God, and not the one Kate Bush was talking about.

In keeping with the record’s name and the varied, experimental nature of the music, the final product has its share of rough edges. Many of those are the byproduct of me learning to produce myself at home with brand new tools and sounds. The magic and the mistakes frequently got woven together.

By the time I finished these songs, I was past 40 and assumed the public part of my musical life was over. I had a thriving professional career, found my life’s partner, and we’d be starting a family in the near future.

In the last few years, a lot has changed: that thriving career ended, our dreamt-of family became a reality, and we moved to the place where we were meant to be. Creating and sharing my music returned as a major part of my life. This feels like the time to go back to where Scapeghost really began. I hope you enjoy Beautiful Mistakes.

credits

released September 4, 2020

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Scapeghost New Bedford, Massachusetts

Scott Bishop is a New Bedford-based singer, songwriter, and sound sculptor who uses his most recent project, Scapeghost, to dip pops songs in a variety of interesting sounds, from crunchy to dreamy and everything in between.

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